file under: PTSD (EVNTLLY)
let it be known that last night was, for some unknown reason, the busiest night of the entire year. who would've guessed that a friggin' wednesday of an otherwise mellow week could explode into such disorder and disarray? i can't explain it.
one of the highlights was an attempted overdose patient screaming "heeeeelp meeeeeeee!!!!!" at the top of her lungs for hours (once she revived - around 4:30am). hearing that particular phrase over and over again was more distressing than you might initially think. i mean, it was sincere and painfully desperate.
i don't even know what part of her brain was actually functioning at the time, because she seriously sounded like an animal for long stretches, descending into these weirdly guttural shrieks while crying incessantly. at one point, she yelled out "do you want this to happen to you?!?!?" it was a somewhat sobering question, if you'll pardon the not-quite-right pun.
listening to her completely lose her shit had me wondering how the staff could stay so professional through it all (although most were cursing under their breath as they walked away from the area, to be honest). it's like they took the blanket of weirdness this one particular patient was adding to an already trying evening in stride. maybe it's no big deal anymore for most of them. what would be, at this point?
still, for some reason, a sneaking suspicion came over me as the shift was ending, something that shouldn't be much of a surprise once you stop to think about it.
[also on the way home, gray and rainy yet again, i saw that neighborhood guy i pointed out to N during the summer. he's middle-aged, red haired, i think a little developmentally delayed. he talks to himself and sings very loudly until people are close to him on the sidewalk; then he quickly pipes down or sings softly until they pass. today he was reading an article while he walked, meticulously clipped from some newspaper, like the things CMP used to send me in letters addressed to seattle.]
[also: PF certification came through from the registrawr generale yesterday. that's code talking for a selec-ted audience, but i'm mentioning it because it should be duly noted somewheres.]
one of the highlights was an attempted overdose patient screaming "heeeeelp meeeeeeee!!!!!" at the top of her lungs for hours (once she revived - around 4:30am). hearing that particular phrase over and over again was more distressing than you might initially think. i mean, it was sincere and painfully desperate.
i don't even know what part of her brain was actually functioning at the time, because she seriously sounded like an animal for long stretches, descending into these weirdly guttural shrieks while crying incessantly. at one point, she yelled out "do you want this to happen to you?!?!?" it was a somewhat sobering question, if you'll pardon the not-quite-right pun.
listening to her completely lose her shit had me wondering how the staff could stay so professional through it all (although most were cursing under their breath as they walked away from the area, to be honest). it's like they took the blanket of weirdness this one particular patient was adding to an already trying evening in stride. maybe it's no big deal anymore for most of them. what would be, at this point?
still, for some reason, a sneaking suspicion came over me as the shift was ending, something that shouldn't be much of a surprise once you stop to think about it.
[also on the way home, gray and rainy yet again, i saw that neighborhood guy i pointed out to N during the summer. he's middle-aged, red haired, i think a little developmentally delayed. he talks to himself and sings very loudly until people are close to him on the sidewalk; then he quickly pipes down or sings softly until they pass. today he was reading an article while he walked, meticulously clipped from some newspaper, like the things CMP used to send me in letters addressed to seattle.]
[also: PF certification came through from the registrawr generale yesterday. that's code talking for a selec-ted audience, but i'm mentioning it because it should be duly noted somewheres.]
posted by pf at
8:47 AM
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